On micro-scooters

I remember back in 2000 these micro-scooters became all the craze in London. My ex boyfriend suggested that he get one and wheel around on it in the city to get to work so as to be environmentally friendly. That he lived on a hill and would only have to roll down seemed like quite an easy way to get places until I pointed out that he would have to hunch over to grab the handles, and having to lug the thing back up the hill would soon see the contraption consigned to the back of the closet.

A year later, the micro-scooter reached a new pinnacle of cool when it was immortalized in Zoolander as used by Hansel (he's so hot right now). There is a scene where he kicks off on his micro-scooter, and somehow when dismounting manages to snap the whole thing together and slung on his back in one cool, deft movement. Cue: a legion of copycats, few who succeeded, even more failing and breaking fingers, sustaining bruises, taking out anyone in a 30m radius, and generally looking like twats in the process. Thus, the micro-scooter gradually disappeared from the streets of London.

Fast forward to 2007. I arrive in Geneva, and see a whole new legion of micro-scooter users. These range from the children all the way to the 74 year old granny who scooted into the post office on one. I discussed this with OH at the beginning who confidently told me that the Swiss were a bit behind in some trends and fads, and we would soon see the back of these pavement menaces. I sincerely hoped so as it seemed to be an infestation of micro-scooters everywhere, rolling through the parks, by the lake, down the hills, across dog-shit. Even the clientele using these seemed to encompass the whole section of society, from hookers jumping onto one to race after a potential client, to bankers stepping onto one impassively to get to a meeting. It seemed an unstoppable craze.

Now, 4 years later and I'm in Zurich. The micro-scooters are still going strong. There are shops that dedicate themselves to selling these contraptions, as well as a variety of accessories to go along with them. Hot men turn into idiots in my eyes as soon as I see them clutching onto one, elegant women just look stupid in their Louboutins, on a micro-scooter.

Maybe we need a re-release of Zoolander, or a movie that has such cool micro-scooter tricks that will shame anyone owning a scooter to quietly leave them in their basement and carry on as nature intended, to walk.

Oh, wait a minute, there was a movie with some micro-scooters that perfectly describes the legions of micro-scooter fans: Jackass.