The lights are on but the wrong one's home

The phone rings and I answer it.

Cue: a slew of French directed at me asking if I want to participate in free facials (get your mind out of the gutter), free phone lines, cheaper car insurance etc. I wait until they finish.

Me (in heavy English accent): Parlez vous anglais?
Telemarketer: Non, desolé. Est ce que Monsieur OH est la?
Me (in perfect French accent) : Non. Il pas ici maintenant. Voulez laisser un message?
TM: Oh, erm, erm. Hangs up.

Works every time.